The Bond Of Friendship❤️

“You won’t understand what I mean now, but someday you will: the only trick of friendship, I think, is to find people who are better than you are—not smarter, not cooler, but kinder, and more generous, and more forgiving—and then to appreciate them for what they can teach you, and to try to listen to them when they tell you something about yourself, no matter how bad—or good—it might be, and to trust them, which is the hardest thing of all. But the best, as well.” Hanya Yanagihara, A Little Life.

One morning, I had a call from a very good friend. After our usual greetings she asked me a question that did not only leave me in doubts but also made me a better friend. “You haven’t heard from me for 5 days and you won’t even look for me. What if something had happened to me?” She asked. My guilt would not let me utter a single word, I had no excuse. She continued by narrating how a taxi full of robbers had robbed her and nearly kidnapped her. What if something had happened to her? When was the last time you checked up on her? Was I really being a good friend? I asked myself.

There are families that we are born into and those that we choose for ourselves when we get married or the great friends who simply become family. So genuine is their love that your bond of friendship grows stronger and stronger. Once you choose these friends the least you can do is to be good to them. “The only way to have a friend is to be one” Ralph Waldo Emerson.

We are all hustling and bustling around with family, work, and academic pressures and sometimes a combination of these. You think of a friend and promise to give them a call but you only do that in your head. A friend decides to organize a hangout but you are too busy to attend.

We think we have grown and for that matter do not have time for friends but that’s not true. Why? Because once you need help, once you feel lonely, once you need advice, once you need someone to share your happiness with, once you need a shoulder to cry on, you run back to those friends. Friends are like a life support if they are real.

Unfortunately, sometimes we don’t even find a reason to go back to that friend. The gap created between you becomes too wide to close. According to Anthropologist Robin Dunbar, in a research on the effect of love on friendship, when a new person comes into your life, he or she displaces two others in your close circle, usually a family member or a friend. Depending on how you use this knowledge, you may be okay with friends being displayed or seeing it as an awareness to maintain your old friends regardless of who comes into your life. Knowledge is power so I’d choose the latter. There’s an adage in my local language which literally translates “too much fish in a soup does not render the soup spoilt”.

What happens when your friends are doing so well in life while you mark time like a soldier waiting to be deployed for a peace mission? Do you leave them or just stay with them? How do you handle your friends’ accomplishments? Sometimes your friend may end up dating the one you wish to date. That friend may have a job and you don’t have one. That friend may be married while you are not. Life is not a race my dear. The happiness of your friends is never the cause of your misfortunes. See them as your inspirations and learn as much as you can from them. It’s tuition free. Always remember how your friendship begun. Remember the bond that holds you together. You have control over your emotions. Don’t let negative emotions ruin that bond of friendship.

What about the friends who abandon you because they feel they have accomplished a lot and you are no longer on their level? Trust me, they never understood friendship. A true friend will raise you up. He will not look at you in your darkest hour and disappear. A true friend is one who listens to you. One who will keep your secrets. “Friendship was witnessing another’s slow drop of miseries, and long bouts of boredom and occasional triumphs. It was a feeling honoured by the privilege of getting to be present for another person’s most dismal moments, and knowing that you could be dismal in return.”Hanya Yanagihara, A little Life.


Friends fight but they stay together. Together, sharing in each other’s happiness, together creating memories that last forever.

Every picture on this blog today is a reminder that your friends appreciate you and want the world to know how special you are. You can also mention your friends in the comment session and leave a message for them. Friendship is just as beautiful as you are.

P.S The brotar foundation is a movement which is geared towards showing concern for the mental and emotional welfare of others. At brotar, you are encouraged to be a better friend. Join the brotar movement via

https://www.instagram.com/the_brotar_foundation/

Thank you, lots of love.
Bridget Delali.

Comments

    1. Post
      Author
  1. Abu bonsra Joseph

    I feel very happy to see my friends doing well in life. We don’t need to be jealous when a friend achieve something great. Like you said, life is not a race. Anyway I’m very happy to read a nice piece from my good friend Bridget. Bridget Delali (Jollof ) , you are my friend and I love you.😍😊👍

    1. Post
      Author
  2. Juliana

    Nice piece dear. “Nam dodo) ns3e kwan ampa”. We bless God for protecting our dear sister who was almost kidnapped. The little things we do in our friendship circle such as calling or even sending a text message goes a long way to sustain our friendships no matter how busy we are. Thanks for the insight again.

    1. Post
      Author
  3. Tracy

    Everything you said is true, I didn’t check on someone that I really cherish and now she’s dead and I wish I could turn back time and be a better friend, since then i try to be the friend I want to see in someone who I want to be a friend so I won’t have to lose anyone like that again.

    1. Post
      Author
  4. Judith

    Totally love this. Friendship means a lot to me, though I’m also one of those ‘bad’ friends that hardly check up on others. I also tend to quickly replace friends especially after I move away from them. Will make a conscious note to prevent that from happening anymore.
    I personally totally get happy when I see my friends making it and being themselves.

    1. Post
      Author
  5. DrC

    Totally love this post! I admit it’s kinda hard keeping up with meeting new people every day and keeping old friends in reach. Life happens to us all, and it’s crazy to think about what might be happening at everyone’s end. One way I try to manage being called the “bad friend who never checks up” was to put on my status: ” Been a while. If you haven’t heard from me, just know I’m hanging in there in this thing called life. Checking up on you. Hit me up let’s catch up”. And so far it works at least for me.

    On the side note, I’ve come to accept friends will get uncomfortable, the very moment you start making it/stop being the person they know you to be. Even the best of friends will feel threatened even if they don’t show it. I am getting used to it. And I understand them perfectly, it’s human nature to feel insecure. True friends will learn to live with the new you, those who don’t, we accept them and move on. Harsh reality but…

    Keep doing what you do best! Love this blog Delali. Following your blog now. Cheers

    1. readerstellnotales

      DrC you have said it all. It’s really crazy to think about what’s happening at everyone’s end. But as you said we try to keep up in any way that works for us. I’m glad you love it here.

  6. Marcie

    This is a beautiful post about friendship! The friends I have see me only occasionally since I live an hour away and have two small children but we always keep in touch and let each other know we’re doing alright. I would drop anything and drive that hour for my friends if they needed me and thankfully I know they would too.

    1. readerstellnotales

      Marcie, trust me I know how good it feels to know your friends will give up anything to help you out. That’s the beauty of friendship, regardless of how far away you are and being surrounded by your two lovely angels you still find time for them. Thanks for your lovely comments.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *