CHANGING FOR YOU

Hello, it's been a long while and here I am not with a good news but finding a way to ruin your Cinderella perfect endings. Let's go with the flow anyway, is that okay?

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Everything had been in total chaos on date rush reunion that evening. Date rush is a dating show which provides opportunity for singles to mingle on tv3 network. On that particular night there were lots of regrets from both ladies and gentlemen on their choices of dates. Insults and accusations were flying left right center. Amidst the mayhem came a beautiful scene.

Success, one of the date rushers, found out a few things about her date, (popularly known as Famous) which she wasn't enthused about and yet refused to say anything about it no matter how hard Giovani, the host of the program pushed her. Famous revealed he smokes, which his princess didn't like. Now here comes the beauty of the smoking saga. Famous did not only reveal his secret, he promised to quit smoking and Success was willing to help him on his journey.
I find this romantic because what we mostly hear is, if you love me you will love all of me, you will love me just as I am.

Relationships are not tools to use in changing people. Sometimes you try to convince yourself that if he truly loves you he will change, if he truly cares he will change. Change is difficult, it can be painful and terrifying, but sometimes change brings happiness. You have always been like this, you have always done things that way, but now you are required to make some changes. It's tough and it requires a lot of effort. It's not fair to force someone to reach out for a standard or way of life they are fundamentally incapable of attaining.

I have grown to accept the fact that this world does not revolve around me, this life is not about me. What if the change you seek in your partner will make him deviate from his path or purpose on earth?

Of course, it's good to wish your partner to quit certain bad habits. It's good to wish your partner to have a better version of himself as each day passes.
We sometimes ask our partners to change for us their occupations, we want them to lose or gain weight, we want them to change their religion and even their denomination. If you were at the other end will you change for the sake of your relationship?

Not every woman or man is within your range. There are certain things you can tolerate and others you don't even want to hear of. I believe that's why we have a list of attributes we wish to see in our significant others. While you are on it, ask yourself, AM I MY TYPES TYPE? Relationships are like humans, they are born, they grow, they make mistakes, some correct the mistakes others don't, they die. If yours die, perhaps it was not meant to be. I'm sure you know not all relationships will lead to marriage.

Some people lie their way into a marriages or relationships. They keep secrets because of fear of reaction from others when their secrets are exposed. If you feel the person will leave you when they know your truth, then know they still will leave you on their death-bed if they find out. Nothing remains hidden under the sun forever.

Too many people are miserable in their relationships because they created a false impression of who they are, some tried to change to please their partners and couldn't keep up after marriage. You become a fake person and each day you feel like you are suffocating.
Your whole relationship is on life support. You wake up everyday trying to convince yourself that your relationship will work, but it's too messy and the ugliness of the past won't allow the beauty of the future to manifest. If you ask me, I'd say that's too heavy a cross to carry. To remain in a relationship where you are not valued is like casting pearls before swine.

 

Sometimes you need to end the relationship so you two can start afresh with different people. Yes you love each other but sometimes love is not enough.
Knowing a man genuinely loves you, but can't love you how you want to be loved is a tough situation to be in. It's a decision-making time, make the right one. 

“ In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you. ”

I'm sending hugs to all those trying to change their lifestyles, to those trying to stop a bad habit for themselves as well as for the sake of their relationship. I believe it's easier when you are making changes for yourself, because you love yourself first.
Cheers

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