INHERITED GRUDGES

Story story
Once upon a time, there lived a very handsome yet very disobedient child. What do you think his name was? Who can guess? Let me provide a clue, his name can be found in DISOBEDIENT.
OBED, yes that was his name.
One day, Obed's mum had an ugly fight with her neighbor. Threats were issued, curses were ruined, seeds of enmity were sown.
The first thing Obed's mum told Obed after the fight was, if you don't know and I see you playing with our neighbor’s son, I will beat you to a pulp. Who knows, that evil witch and her son will kill you before I get the chance to beat you. This warning entered Obed's ears through his right ear and came out waving goodbye through the left ear.
Do you know what happened next?
Obed went to play with their neighbor’s son. While they were playing Obed noticed his friend had on his wrist a beautiful traditional amulet. Obed wanted to put it on and he did. It was time to go home and Obed's friend wanted his amulet back. Strangely enough, the amulet got stuck on his wrist. They tried their best to get it off to no avail. Their neighbor demanded that Obed's hand be cut off for the amulet to be given back to her son and that's how Obed lost one of his hands.

If you are a child who grew up in the rural areas of Ghana, such tales are what you hear when you do something wrong, when you ask for advice or perhaps when you intend to disobey your parents. They embed in narratives solutions, questions, and even warnings and consequences of certain decisions one may take. The story I narrated is one or similar to what I'd have heard if my mum caught me playing with a neighbor or a cousin, she has warned me about playing with.

Families and friends are struggling to stay together in recent times and one reason accounting for that is what I call “inherited grudges”. Honestly, if you treat my mum badly, I’m probably going to stop talking to you. I know I’m guilty and so are many others out there. We are anguished about seeing the people we love being mistreated. It’s not planned, but whatever relationship I had with you gradually breaks down. Even if my parents were at fault, I believe the situation could have been handled in a better way. When my parents warn me about staying away from someone, I would want to believe that my parents know best. Of course, what an elderly person sees while sitting, a child may not see even while standing.

Conflicts in human relationships are normal. We are always jumping into conclusions, misunderstanding others, and even directly attacking others. When these issues remain unresolved, there may be resentments. What is important is to resolve these conflicts as they arise. Let’s strengthen family bonds by respecting each other, playing and having fun together. The stronger the bond, the harder it is to break. You can remember the good old days and forgive and let go of all resentments. Family gives us a sense of belongingness, it’s time we learn to resolve our differences and stay together.

Hugs ❣️ and kisses 😘

Comments

  1. Tekwor

    Awesome post, love the story at the beginning, and the local proverb imbedded in the post.
    I happen to be one of those who don’t take on the fight of others because I like to get along with people, this attitude of mine hurts my mom a lot when I interact with those who she has conflict with, mostly she ignores me but when she feels strongly wronged by someone, she insists I do not talk to that person, and at those point because I realize how important it is to her, I obey. Growing up though, I’m learning myself to stay away from certain people for my own reasons, some of those are people my mom wanted me to stay away from years ago.
    Human relationships are difficult, there isn’t always peace, when there’s a chance for peace, we should definitely grab it, but if not, distances are better than heated physical conflicts.

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