Till it happens to you….

2019 has been unpredictable. There was never a dull moment, but trust me it wasn’t fun throughout either. The blessings and lessons, the ups and downs created a colourful year. I think I’ve seen it all. It came with winds of patience blowing me from north to south and from east to west until I appreciated it’s meaning. Patience is truly a virtue.

Robbed twice in two consecutive nights 2019, I redirected my thoughts on safety. I used to feel safe after locking my doors but now even with my door locked I’m still alert.

My confidence level shot up with an opportunity to be part of a friend’s bridal team. I remember asking Sandra if she thinks I could do it. I am glad for that exposure 2019.

There’s a lot more you opened my eyes to but the deepest and greatest of all remains “until it happens to you, don’t rush to talk.”

Sometimes we feel we know it all. It’s as if an overdose of the wisdom of King Solomon has been given to us. We turn to talk about things we know nothing of. Maybe we have an idea but do we know exactly how those in that situation feel?

We know losing a loved one hurts. We know being raped hurts.

We know being diagnosed with a terminal illness will be devastating.

We know studying hard and still not passing an exam hurts.

We know your significant other cheating on you hurts.

After my laminectomy, I knew the doctors were fully aware I was in pain. They knew the level of pain which comes with such a procedure but do they know exactly how that level of pain makes you feel? Do we know the degree of pain victims of rape feel?

About six to seven years ago I was so unfair to a loved one. I wouldn’t use my age as an excuse. All I had to do was to be understanding and to show some love. Well I didn’t, I was judgmental because I just didn’t see why things should be how they were.

This year I found myself in a similar situation and I broke down in tears. Not for the circumstances but for my attitude years ago. I went to apologize and honestly I feel better now.

We say be strong and hold your head high.

We say when you fall you get up and fight.

We say it’s nothing, you can get over it.

We make it look as easy as an ABC but trust me, if it doesn’t happen to you, you wouldn’t know how real it is, till it happens to you, you won’t know how it feels.

What lessons did you pick from 2019? I will be glad to know what you have learnt from 2019. Christmas is all about showing love and sharing your blessings. Please do share with me.

I leave you with this heartbreaking song from lady Gaga, till it happens to you.
Don’t be quick to judge, peace.


  1. Judith Nuertey

    It’s so brave of you going back to apologise. Such an admirable act❤️, the aim is to not judge at all, even if we do know all the details, it’s difficult but with that in mind, we get closer. Beautiful post❤️✌🏾😍

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